Sunday, August 8, 2010

It's getting better...maybe

I found some DVDs recently, they were used, but unlabeled.  I put one in, and it was a copy of the DVD I made to honor you during the memorial services.

Is it getting better?  This time I did not cry.

It was sad to remember I never really "knew" you until you were gone.  Everything I thought was you, was just my perception of you.  It was based on my relationship with you.

When we finally put the whole picture together, you were a pretty likable guy.

You have taught me more in the 6 months since your passing than I allowed earlier.

We are more than just the 1 or 2 dimensional image seen by our family.  So often those that love us the most, also constrain us more.  Somewhere along the path of life, we become demigods and create images of others based on our perception of what we think they should be.

And we never really know them.

They have dreams, fears, hopes, and tears.

But they can't have those - not in our world.

The box we create for them does not allow those freedoms.

The last box we put them in, contains all their dreams, all their hopes, but no fear.  The only tears are the ones we shed.

If we can just learn to see our loved ones for the people they are; the grouchy old man is a little boy that dreams of riding a bicycle on his own, the disabled lady in the wheelchair is a ballerina, the angry man was rejected, the shy young lady is a hero looking for a chance to rescue someone in need.

Take the boxes we created, set the images of each other free,  drop our demigod status and accept we are all the same.

I ramble...I do that a lot sometimes.

It's getting better...and I am still changing.

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