One week later

Dear Dad,

It has been one week since the funeral.

I cleaned up the DVD a little, added a menu and a portion of the message to the family.

Now I have time to feel everything...

It has been a quiet week around here.

I cannot say I miss the man lying in the hospital bed, struggling with every breath, but I miss the healthy man that had dreams and hopes, the man whose thirst for knowledge was unending, the man that loved his children and grandchildren.

The patriot that would be proud of his final ceremony.

Somethings just take some getting used to.

It has been a relief to not have to make the drive to the hospital or the nursing home, and I have found my focus returning, but I still find times when I feel like I am supposed to be doing something, I am supposed to be worrying about you, trying to help you.

I have a little extra time that is getting filled with life without you, and it feels sad sometimes.

I am sure it will pass, it has only been a week.

I remember some of the funny things you said, like last year when we were working on the old house and I had to go out of town when some contractors were coming over.  You stayed at the house and took care of our dog while we were out, and just watched over things.

During that time, our dog, Angel, became pretty attached to you.  You always liked dogs, and enjoyed her company.

I remember one day you called me and told me, "I think I have been spending too much time with your dog."

I asked you why, and you said, "I think I can read her mind, she just sits and stares at me and I know what she wants!"

You were joking of course, Angel does that when she wants to go outside, and she finally trained you to respond!

Perhaps it is not as funny as I thought, but at least I am not crying.

I would rather remember the good times, the fun times, the times we were laughing.

Yes, I miss you and I hope that never changes.  You left so much of yourself in us, all of us - not just your sons, but the entire family.  When we are together as a family, there is enough of "you" here, it is good.

Not too much to say, I am tired and I don't want to ramble...too much.

Thanks Dad for doing the right stuff.

It was worth it.